Love letter to my grandma

Meri Pyaari Nani Ma, Gudiya/ My loving grandma, doll

You left this physical reality today
I say physical reality because I know that at soul level you are with us, have been with us for many lifetimes

I will see you again, of that I am sure
Different form, different name, but you

When I look back at my childhood I realize how invincible I thought you were
Your love language was feeding us items that took time and love to make — pinnis, aam panna, badam sharbat among others

I remember automatically feeling safe and loved around you
When you were active, coming in while chanting a greeting
When you were less active, sitting on the bed extending your hands to reach for mine as I came into the room

All times, full of love for us
Open embraces
Smiles
A home

Insisting that I be called ‘Vidushi’ and not ‘Cheeku’

When I think of karma, I count you in the things I did right

To have had your love, care, nourishment in my life

Surely I did something right in the past lives

You left behind three generations
Each of which love you deeply
In their own way
Each role you played, treasured, mummy; nani; dadi; badi nani

I hope you knew as you were leaving
That you mattered
So much more than you could have known
You mattered

I hope you knew as you were leaving
That you were loved so deeply
For all your incremental, big and small
gestures of love
that helped us feel protected
Will help us feel protected
for years to come

This is not a goodbye
But it is important that we let you go
For your soul to continue its journey
Uninhibited by us and our memories

But it is not a goodbye
For I will meet you again
And this time when I do
Let me care for you, nourish you, love you
As you did me

Thank you for choosing to incarnate as my Nani Ma
I love you